Phoebe was born at 32 weeks, the first of twins. After 2 starts at labour, at 25 weeks and then at 28 weeks, 8 long weeks on hospital bed rest, daily scans and countless new room mates, the moment was really here and it happened so quickly.
I had just hit the 32 weeks mark at the stroke of midnight – that was the golden goal and the scans indicated that the babies were both over 5 pounds each. It was all looking so safe now, but here I was, in the theatre, looking over at my teeny, tiny baby girl while the large team of nurses and Docters worked on her tiny 1.3kg limp body, and while her brother Louie was being bought into the world, the second team stood ready and waiting for him. Louie’s cries were letting us know he had arrived. They cleaned him up quickly and bought him over to see me. There he was, 1.6kg, Louie! He was making little groans and cries and wanting attention before he was taken away, but I could barely look because still Phoebe wasn’t making any sound. Suddenly they rushed her off, without me even seeing her face and she still hadn’t uttered one little sound.
I shooed my husband off to go with them. He was torn between, comforting a confused and sobbing me, and wanting to actually be with the twins, so he kissed me and of he went to protect our special little arrivals. In all that chaos the voices around me were calm and soothing and very much in control. In spite of their reassurances that helpless feeling and enormous anxiety will be something I will never forget.
It was a tough road for Phoebe but she was a survivor and continued to battle on. Louie was just kept growing and meeting his goals. Everyday held a new challenge, oxygen levels, heart rates, jaundice, temperatures, infections – there were the checks, blood tests and more checks and it just became our normal. They would say to us to never compare the twins as they will develop at differrent rate. So we didn’t, it was just simply Louie grew fast and Phoebe didn’t. We felt safe in our bubble at the Hospital. If anything happened help was on hand.